Beautiful Infinity Stories
You’ve read plenty of spiritual and self-help books. Maybe you’ve spent time in therapy. It all helps – but it still feels like there could be more. More love, more joy, more peace. Join Betsy Blankenbaker for a Qoya class and workshop created to invite you into your sacred body.
What is the story you yearn to read? The one that could help you make sense of your life. It’s probably the one you need to write.
My first book, Autobiography of an Orgasm, took two years to write, but that was because I spent twenty-one of those months writing a different book. The original book I was working on was about my life and spiritual path as I travelled between the US and Zimbabwe, and it included a very short passage about a sensual encounter with a man in Africa.
“I am reading your wonderful book and feel compelled to reach out to you. I am 45 and just beginning the journey of healing from a past that is very similar to yours. I share so many of the same experiences as you – it’s interesting to hear my story in your story: early abuse by a neighbor, lack of boundaries, abortion, lack of sexual zeal, divorce, lack of emotional and physical feeling, being disconnected from orgasm, faking it, etc. I’m sure many other women share these experiences, too…”
I quietly released my first book, Autobiography of an Orgasm, in November of 2014. I self-published with no budget for media or PR. I decided to do the book release party in Miami, a place that had been home for the past seventeen years. The first venue I approached to host the book event turned me down. They didn’t think the book aligned with their corporate image, which was ironic, because their website oozes sex appeal.
One of the first things I notice when I’m not fully expressing myself is my breath is shallow. I need more sleep. Then, I become edgy and unfocused. Next, I feel full, but I’m still hungry. I may even get a sore throat.
These are some of the signs that remind me I’m holding onto things — keeping things inside. Maybe I’m not speaking up because I’m worried about what others will think. So I let myself get small.
This past January, I was asked to speak at CreavtivCatalyst Week in Downtown Las Vegas about a moment in my life that was a catalyst for change (you can watch my speech here: https://vimeo.com/86375701). There was no one moment to pick from. My life looked like a series of random events that were unrelated. Some of them I planned, many were out of my control. Most of the catalyst moments seemed either sad or funny, like God was trying to see if I could take a joke.
The week before the release of my book earlier this month, I had a day of self-doubt. Maybe writing the story for myself was enough. Maybe I shouldn’t speak it out loud.
Much of the first chapter of the book was events in my life that I had kept secret for years. I was too ashamed to speak up about my past to even my closest friends and family. Now I was revealing it all in a book. I called my 23 year old daughter Lucy to ask for advice.
One of my dearest friends has written a remarkable book! I’ve been privileged to read a large portion of it during the editing process and I’m looking forward to its release next month. Betsy Blankenbaker’s writing serves to encourage us all to speak our truth through devoted, clarifying, and caring gestures to self that set one free and make room for new joys.