In this sexy-spiritual memoir that blends erotica and how-to, Betsy Blankenbaker decided to research orgasm as a way to feel as much as possible after too many years of feeling nothing. Betsy unravels the story of why she spent a great deal of her life disconnected from her sensuality after holding onto the shame of sexual assault during her childhood. Finally, at the age of 45, Blankenbaker set out on a journey to learn everything she could about the female orgasm. She spent time in bed with orgasm experts, walked down Fifth Avenue in New York City with a “healing” jade egg in her vagina, experienced a spiritual awakening through orgasm in Africa and honored her womb near the Amazon. On her cathartic pilgrimage to healing and pleasure, Betsy never backs down from her quest and the results have manifested in her phenomenal book, AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF AN ORGASM.
With candid storytelling and a hint of humor, Betsy describes how she was running from love as much as she was running to love, seeking approval, needing to belong but never finding fulfillment in life, love or sex. This remarkable book will give you a great many answers, but much more important, it will show you that you’ve been asking the wrong questions. AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF AN ORGASM will have women everywhere burning their dysfunctional bridges and walking into healing by learning to love their bodies and themselves.
“Autobiography of an Orgasm is a sort of anti-50 Shades of Grey.”
—Ruby Warrington, UK Sunday Times
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“Autobiography of An Orgasm is an honest memoir so worth reading. Many will be helped by this book… and especially if shame or hatred for your body or sexuality is an issue, it might shift your entire life.”
—Tosha Silver, author of Outrageous Openness
“Autobiography of an Orgasm is one of those books you sit down and read in one sitting and every couple pages there is a line that changes everything and feels like a puzzle piece of your soul just got clicked back in. In the courageous dance so many of us take in healing past trauma and abuse and trying everything only to end up with the only thing that works back at the temple of our own body. Her exploration of orgasm as a spiritual awakening through spiritual embodiment is honest, erotic and a must read for all men who are inspired to hear the inner workings of a woman’s journey and all women who want to breathe a sigh of relief that we finally live in a time and in a way that we can say our truth out loud and the truth will set us free.”
—Rochelle Schieck, California, USA – Founder of Qoya
“Through telling her own story she will sometimes make you laugh, and at other times seem to beg of you the question, are you living your truth? Are you authentically noticing and owning, each day, the beauty of living the soulful life that is your birthright? Do you experience meaning and intimacy as you interact with the world? And if not, when will you begin your personal journey to live a more simple, honest, divinely pleasurable life? I find it inspiring, downright delightful, to imagine the person that can heal, forgive, and thrive by identifying in some way with Betsy’s reverently truthful and courageous autobiography of life up to this point.”
—Jeannie, Indiana, USA
“Amazing storytelling. Reminds me of Anne Lamott.”
—Lisa, Michigan, USA
“WOW!!! I LOVED it! Autobiography of An Orgasm is the new Eat, Pray Love or Wild book for women. I loved your journey and how you make all women feel open to life and love in your book. Thank you for sharing your story and being an inspiration to other women.
—Denise Antoon, USA
Autobiography of An Orgasm is a must read for women who’ve had their sexuality stolen or compromised by sexual abuse, puritan values or anything else that has dampened their sexuality. Betsy Blankenbaker’s honest, funny, sexy, unapologetic, eccentric journey making friends with her pussy had me laughing, crying and filled with delight. I was inspired to reclaim every bit of my female potential — and you will too!”
—Laura Davis, co-author of The Courage to Heal
“This sexy-spiritual memoir ventures into delicate territory with so much honesty, courage, wit, and writing talent. It’s a valuable story not simply for women on a quest to solve a problem but for any woman or man interested in the fullest sexual and spiritual experience.”
—Peggy Payne, author of Cobalt Blue and other novels of sex and spirituality
“I read Betsy’s beautiful book in one day. It was one of those experiences when I say, “I’m so glad someone is finally writing about this and in this way.” As a psychotherapist, I’ve been waiting for and wanting a fresh look at and understanding of feminine pleasure and desire particularly after trauma and abuse. I was so grateful for the way Betsy balanced sharing her insightful intellect and full heart and immense openness, creating a deep trust within me of her process and medicine for us all.
Thank you, Betsy, for paving the way for us into this epic and soul-nourishing territory.”
—Kathryn Holt, psychotherapist, Colorado, USA
“Betsy takes the reader on a roller coaster ride of discovery as she recounts her personal path to finding her pleasure. Along the way, her beautiful stories recount each step of a deep sexual healing that helps her redefine the power of female sexuality. No judgment here, just pure self discovery!”
—Madeleine M Castellanos, MD, author of Wanting to Want
“Oh. My. Gosh. I swear you were writing about me. You spoke for me. You allowed me to see myself and appreciate myself in a way I never have. It was such an emotional read for me because I felt so connected to your story. It was a total learning experience. Thank you. Autobiography of an Orgasm is absolutely amazing.”
“This is a MUST READ FOR ALL WOMEN! (And for men too!) It was truly a life changing and eye opening book that has impacted me and has the potential to change the whole way we view sexuality.”
—Liz, Montana, USA
“Just devoured your book! It was one of the most fun and heartened reads of my life. I laughed (belly laughed through pg. 39) and also cried through the read. I felt hugged by your truth and transparency and even more than that, I felt carried by your stand as an observer of life and caregiver of truth, including your astute and relatable comments on 50 Shades of Grey. I think that was a courageous extra write up you did and is really an extra gift commentary to all women and humanity, as your readers arrive at that chapter already respecting you as a leading voice of a generation.”
—Laura Lillie, Toronto, CANADA
“I would call it “when erotica meets how-to” as it’s both entertaining and educational. Women will love it!”
—Hermoine, Athens, GREECE
“As a physician, healer, and woman, I highly recommend Betsy Blankenbaker’s book Autobiography of an Orgasm. It almost feels like fiction, but there is a grittiness and yearning that convey the very real truths she is telling. Indeed, it has resonated within me weeks after reading it.
In the book, Betsy details the significant events in the biography of her orgasm, starting with early abuse by a neighbor and ending with powerful experiences of reclamation. Betsy was a good girl and did as she was told, which was to suppress her experiences and get on with her life. In adulthood after her divorce and the births of her children, she found the courage to change this pattern and has done so with finesse, delight, and in a way that teaches us all.
As a physician I have seen again and again how rape and also much less invasive non-consensual experiences remain relevant forever. Even when a woman is emotionally healed, her body remembers and reminds her in unexpected moments. Things that should proceed smoothly become stilted and awkward as a woman’s body reacts to an event from a prior decade. Betsy’s story inspires compassion, understanding, and also hope for other women who also can choose the next chapters in their own biographies. She addresses intense matters with delicacy and straightforwardness and invites every woman and every man to learn something about his/her impact on other human beings.
—Alexandra Stockwell, MD, Healer, Intimacy Coach, USA
“Oh. My. Gosh. I swear you were writing about me. You spoke for me. You allowed me to see myself and appreciate myself in a way I never have. It was such an emotional read for me because I felt so connected to your story. Thank you. Absolutely amazing.”
—Allison, Maryland, USA
“This book is thoughtful, personal, poignant and surprising. It will give you a great many answers, but much more important, it will show you that you’ve been asking the wrong questions. Betsy’s quest to “feel more” took her around the world, showed tremendous courage, and reaped rewards that went far beyond that fleeting moment that most of us think of as orgasm.”
—Amanda, Phnom Penh, CAMBODIA
“Wow. This book was so good, I can’t figure out if I want to keep it under my pillow for inspiration forever or give it to all of my friends because everyone needs to read Betsy Blankenbaker’s story. I had goosebumps & chills & tears and huge smiles. It’s a page turner. Thank you Betsy for your courage to share your voice and story. The world needs to hear the voices of women.”
—Mary Ricards, USA
“This book completely changed the way I think about myself and my life. Engaging with this book was a major catalyst for shift. It is giving me the strength and the courage to be my natural self and live from that place of truth.”
—Virginia Rosenberg, USA
“The filmmaker Betsy Blankenbaker is a friend of mine. She is not, however, an intimate friend. I knew nothing at all about her orgasms until I read her new book, Autobiography of an Orgasm. Now I know everything.
Betsy produced a documentary film based on my memoir, New York in the Fifties. Her filmmography also includes Something to Cheer About, a documentary about the 1955 Crispus Attucks basketball team that was the first all-Black squad in the country — in any sport — to win a state championship.
Her quest for great orgasms may have been subconsciously inspired by my account of “The Great Orgasm Debate” of New York in the ‘fifties, initiated by Norman Mailer. He had announced in an article in Dissent magazine in 1957 that he was in search of “the apocalyptic orgasm,” which seemed awfully ambitious; I was in search of any orgasm at all.
We have come a long way from what now seems the Neolithic Age of sex in America. No one could have imagined back then that a contemporary, accomplished woman (Betsy has produced four documentaries and started an NGO in Zimbabwe), born and bred in Indianapolis (her mother served in the state legislature and her father was once this city’s director of public safety), could write about her experience demonstrating orgasm in front of forty people during a class in “Orgasmic Meditation.” To paraphrase Wordsworth: “Mailer, thou shouldst be living at this hour!” The poor guy was born fifty years too soon.”
—Dan Wakefield, Huffington Post, novelist, USA
“Autobiography of an Orgasm feels like it is going to be a classic. It is a tell-all, transparent collection of intimate vignettes. Blankenbaker invites the reader into her journey of researching her sensuality and sexuality. It is a poignant ride that takes you from her roots in Indiana and around the world. Ultimately, it introduces us to a sacred side of this topic…and that feels like home.”
—Tara, New York, USA
“Betsy has shown her sincerity in this book. She shows her marks and flaws and in so doing she shows her strength and her heartbreak. The connection she alludes to between grief and loss feeding life and feeding orgasm are beautiful.”
—Matthew Stillman, NYC, USA
“I thank you for being brave and telling your truth. Reading this book helped me let go of all the things blocking my heart: fear, regret, insecurities, and helped me see that our past experiences do not define us. It helped me to accept and be proud of my accomplishments as an independent single woman in a world full of judgement. Thank you for this gift Betsy.”
—Karen, Miami, USA
“It was a pleasure and a powerful experience to read your book. I have always been awed by the intensity and depth of the possibilities of women’s sexuality. The descriptions of the orgasm and how they were achieved were actually instructive for me. At 66, I apparently have so much to learn!
There were parts that brought me to tears, but underlying the story was great hope for vitality for life growing stronger and for past hurts releasing. Thank you for writing your book.”
—Ken, California, USA